If you visit sites like Yahoo, Google and MSN, you will find a news story about some new list that has been released. The top 10 worst commuting cities. The top 10 best beach resorts. The top 10 ways to lose weight. The lists are interesting to me and I find myself clicking these links to see if I can guess the number 1 on each list. “The Carrot Juice and Liverwurst diet has to be number 1. C’mon carrot Juice….. Number 5! That’s bullshit! Who came up with this crap! How are palates better than carrot juice and liverwurst?”
Americans we seem to be obsessed with these lists – as is seen every night on Late Night with David Letterman. His lists are fictional and created for a laugh. However, a quick Google search reveals that there are plenty of serious lists out there that are as funny as Dave’s and some that are just plain are disturbing.
Top 10 Bizarre Body Modifications
Top 10 Most Beautiful Fish
Top 10 Lesser Known Massacres
Top 10 Most Unusual Last Wills and Testaments
Top 10 Rejected New Jersey State Slogans
And my personal favorite –
The Top 10 Most bizarre things men have been caught having sex with (a fence was number 1, barely edging out a lamp post and a picnic table)
There are lists on everything: Sports, politics, cooking, business, travel. You name it. In an attempt to make a splash in this new genre of interesting, yet completely useless information, I currently researching a few top 10’s of my own that will define how Americans live, play, and work for decades to come.
10 worst places to get your zipper caught
Top 10 ways to lose your car keys
Top 10 ways to seal an envelope
Top 10 seasonings for Sauerbraten
10 worst types of athletic socks
I have put in hours of research on these lists and am developing them using a $63 Million grant provided by the Department of Homeland Security. I have a team of 30 researchers from Germany to Idaho working round the clock. We are using cutting edge oracle databases and the latest statistical regression analyses developed at the University of Chicago.
Look for the results in your internet search engine soon.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Car Woes
I didn’t have anything good to write about for the past few weeks- until an incident yesterday involving my car.
I bought an Acura TSX in early 2008. This thing is loaded and it looks awesome. It’s fast, quiet and still gets nearly 30 mpg’s on the highway. The difficulty I am having is that today it was broken into…..for the second time.
The first time it was “violated” was in front of my house, and to make matters worse, it got rained on all night long. I live in Haverhill Mass, which is a community of very wealthy people on the outskirts and a downtown filled with litter, shopping carts and those who like to discard litter and shopping carts in the street. It’s an interesting mix-to put it politely. There is a Mercedes dealership across the street from a check cashing business and a pawn shop.
The thugs were after my Garmin GPS unit, and they got their prize. I left the suction cups on the windshield and hid the Garmin in the glovebox – unlocked. Lesson learned (or so I thought). Like a dumbass I used this opportunity to justify buying a better GPS unit. One with live traffic, all the posted speed limits and a huge screen. I protected this like it was my second child. Well, maybe not. I wouldn’t lock my kid in the glove box or hang him/her from the front windshield. You know what I mean though.
Yesterday I headed out to work and took the GPS unit with me because I had a meeting in South Boston, and that place baffles me. One wrong turn and you’re on a one-way conveyor out of the city entirely. I went to my meeting and returned to my office. I work in downtown Boston (when I actually go to the office) and I park in the Government Center Parking Garage next to my building. The garage is located between the City Courthouse and the Beacon Hill/Financial District precinct of the Boston Police Department. Pretty safe, or so I thought. Sometime yesterday afternoon some loser thugs smashed the window, tore through the car and found my beloved Garmin in the center console. I didn’t leave the suction cups on the window, but I didn’t lock the Garmin up either thinking the garage had enough traffic that someone wouldn’t take the time to hunt for valuables. Luckily they didn’t steal the Starbucks frequent coffee drinker card I keep in the console as well. I am one cup away from a free Venti.
I found my smashed in car on my way out yesterday and notified all the proper authorities, including the Keystone Cops who work security in the garage (who incidentally were playing cards in their shack when I found them.) They filled out a “report” which consisted of scribbling on the back of a notepad. Not the paper, but the actual cardboard back. I asked if they had the place under surveillance. The response was “no, that’s why we’re here”. So a bunch of card-playing assholes, who didn’t look like they couldn’t outrun a drunk turtle, are in charge of the security of all vehicles in this garage. Ok….
I then walked next door to file my police report. The officer was very helpful and understanding of my frustration. I don’t have a history with the Boston Police, but the few encounters I have had (nothing illegal), they’ve been very professional and humane.
Back to the garage I go to get my car and haggle my way out of paying the $33 for the day’s parking. The garage manager, which surprisingly was a woman in her late 20's or earily 30's, made a phone call and the blundering troop of security guards show up a few moments later, armed with a vacuum cleaner, Windex and riot gear type face masks. They sucked every fleck of glass out of my car and wiped down what windows remained. Then all four of them jumped into the same golf cart and sped away, tires screeching. Apparently between card games, these guys found time to drop a Chevy big block into their golf cart. The garage manager then asked me for my parking ticket and validated it.
So I got to thinking on my way home. Don’t cars come with alarms? And if so, why the hell didn’t mine go off? Maybe it did, but the security team was tuning the engine in their golf cart and didn’t hear it. I was told after the first break-in that factory alarms only sound when someone tries to pry open the door. Well who the fuck is going to take the time do that? That could take hours. Apparently you can smash a window and be gone in less than a minute. Well that doesn’t sound ok to me. So instead of going to get a new Garmin this weekend, I will be buying a real car alarm.
Thank god glass claims are free in Massachusetts.
I bought an Acura TSX in early 2008. This thing is loaded and it looks awesome. It’s fast, quiet and still gets nearly 30 mpg’s on the highway. The difficulty I am having is that today it was broken into…..for the second time.
The first time it was “violated” was in front of my house, and to make matters worse, it got rained on all night long. I live in Haverhill Mass, which is a community of very wealthy people on the outskirts and a downtown filled with litter, shopping carts and those who like to discard litter and shopping carts in the street. It’s an interesting mix-to put it politely. There is a Mercedes dealership across the street from a check cashing business and a pawn shop.
The thugs were after my Garmin GPS unit, and they got their prize. I left the suction cups on the windshield and hid the Garmin in the glovebox – unlocked. Lesson learned (or so I thought). Like a dumbass I used this opportunity to justify buying a better GPS unit. One with live traffic, all the posted speed limits and a huge screen. I protected this like it was my second child. Well, maybe not. I wouldn’t lock my kid in the glove box or hang him/her from the front windshield. You know what I mean though.
Yesterday I headed out to work and took the GPS unit with me because I had a meeting in South Boston, and that place baffles me. One wrong turn and you’re on a one-way conveyor out of the city entirely. I went to my meeting and returned to my office. I work in downtown Boston (when I actually go to the office) and I park in the Government Center Parking Garage next to my building. The garage is located between the City Courthouse and the Beacon Hill/Financial District precinct of the Boston Police Department. Pretty safe, or so I thought. Sometime yesterday afternoon some loser thugs smashed the window, tore through the car and found my beloved Garmin in the center console. I didn’t leave the suction cups on the window, but I didn’t lock the Garmin up either thinking the garage had enough traffic that someone wouldn’t take the time to hunt for valuables. Luckily they didn’t steal the Starbucks frequent coffee drinker card I keep in the console as well. I am one cup away from a free Venti.
I found my smashed in car on my way out yesterday and notified all the proper authorities, including the Keystone Cops who work security in the garage (who incidentally were playing cards in their shack when I found them.) They filled out a “report” which consisted of scribbling on the back of a notepad. Not the paper, but the actual cardboard back. I asked if they had the place under surveillance. The response was “no, that’s why we’re here”. So a bunch of card-playing assholes, who didn’t look like they couldn’t outrun a drunk turtle, are in charge of the security of all vehicles in this garage. Ok….
I then walked next door to file my police report. The officer was very helpful and understanding of my frustration. I don’t have a history with the Boston Police, but the few encounters I have had (nothing illegal), they’ve been very professional and humane.
Back to the garage I go to get my car and haggle my way out of paying the $33 for the day’s parking. The garage manager, which surprisingly was a woman in her late 20's or earily 30's, made a phone call and the blundering troop of security guards show up a few moments later, armed with a vacuum cleaner, Windex and riot gear type face masks. They sucked every fleck of glass out of my car and wiped down what windows remained. Then all four of them jumped into the same golf cart and sped away, tires screeching. Apparently between card games, these guys found time to drop a Chevy big block into their golf cart. The garage manager then asked me for my parking ticket and validated it.
So I got to thinking on my way home. Don’t cars come with alarms? And if so, why the hell didn’t mine go off? Maybe it did, but the security team was tuning the engine in their golf cart and didn’t hear it. I was told after the first break-in that factory alarms only sound when someone tries to pry open the door. Well who the fuck is going to take the time do that? That could take hours. Apparently you can smash a window and be gone in less than a minute. Well that doesn’t sound ok to me. So instead of going to get a new Garmin this weekend, I will be buying a real car alarm.
Thank god glass claims are free in Massachusetts.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Welcome to NY Brett
So the Jets make a splash by trading for Brett Favre. I like the move, and here’s why:
- Having Brett Favre isn’t going to make them worse.
- As much as I like Chad Pennington, Clemens and Favre can throw the deep ball, which makes the offense multi-dimensional.
- They didn’t give up much to get him. The worst that could happen is if the Jets make the Super Bowl and Favre takes 80% of the snaps, the Jets lose a first round pick. If the Jets make the Super Bowl they’re picking around number 31 anyway, so it’s worth it.
- Vinny Testaverde was 34 Jets signed him in 1998. Not too old to lead the league in passing and go 12-1 as a starter. Favre is 4 years older, but with a much higher pedigree and reputation for durability.
As a business decision, this is brilliant. The Jets are the most irrelevant team in New York (aside from the Metro Stars – but who cares?) The four big New York teams are all moving into new stadiums next season - Colin Cowherd noted this morning on ESPN radio. The Yankees have tradition, stars and are perennially in the playoff race. The Mets have stars and are always battling Philly for the AL East. The Giants are the returning Champs. What do the Jets have? What is their draw? Ben Graham the knuckleball punter? Perhaps it’s the chance to catch Bill Belichick wiring hidden cameras in Eric Mangini’s office or to see Broadway Joe drunk on the sidelines. The Jets have no selling power. This was evidenced last season as thousands of fans made the 6 hour trip from Pittsburgh overtake Giants Stadium and see their Steelers. Visiting teams are more interesting than the Jets. The Jets may make the playoffs; they may catch the Pats on a bad Sunday. What is certain however, Jets fans will fill Giants Stadium once again. I love the move. J-E-T-S…Jets Jets Jets Jets!
- Having Brett Favre isn’t going to make them worse.
- As much as I like Chad Pennington, Clemens and Favre can throw the deep ball, which makes the offense multi-dimensional.
- They didn’t give up much to get him. The worst that could happen is if the Jets make the Super Bowl and Favre takes 80% of the snaps, the Jets lose a first round pick. If the Jets make the Super Bowl they’re picking around number 31 anyway, so it’s worth it.
- Vinny Testaverde was 34 Jets signed him in 1998. Not too old to lead the league in passing and go 12-1 as a starter. Favre is 4 years older, but with a much higher pedigree and reputation for durability.
As a business decision, this is brilliant. The Jets are the most irrelevant team in New York (aside from the Metro Stars – but who cares?) The four big New York teams are all moving into new stadiums next season - Colin Cowherd noted this morning on ESPN radio. The Yankees have tradition, stars and are perennially in the playoff race. The Mets have stars and are always battling Philly for the AL East. The Giants are the returning Champs. What do the Jets have? What is their draw? Ben Graham the knuckleball punter? Perhaps it’s the chance to catch Bill Belichick wiring hidden cameras in Eric Mangini’s office or to see Broadway Joe drunk on the sidelines. The Jets have no selling power. This was evidenced last season as thousands of fans made the 6 hour trip from Pittsburgh overtake Giants Stadium and see their Steelers. Visiting teams are more interesting than the Jets. The Jets may make the playoffs; they may catch the Pats on a bad Sunday. What is certain however, Jets fans will fill Giants Stadium once again. I love the move. J-E-T-S…Jets Jets Jets Jets!
Off the wagon.
About 2 months ago my wife read “Skinny Bitch”. She became passionate about its message regarding the things we put in our bodies and where our food comes from. I read the book as well (as noted in a previous post). I liked the fact that it was an easy read and was written in crass conversational language. I come to find out later that the primary author is from New Jersey. Maybe that’s why I understood it so well.
I gave up eating meat. Not all meat, just what I call “land meat”. You could serve me a swordfish steak with a side of crab cakes and a cup of chowder and I’d tear through that like Oprah at a Vegas buffet. Land meat is poultry, beef and pork. Not a huge sacrifice really, as I live in New England and Lobster is the same price as steak tips at the local Shaw’s.
I have been having difficulty lately however. I am constantly hungry, and I find myself filling the void with junk food. In this dietary transition, we have been swept up in the organic marketing craze as well, so I don’t snack on good old fashioned American Lays Potato Chips, but Toms Vermont, Organic, All-Natural, BPA-Free, Whole Grain, Sea Salted Potato Slices. Bullshit. That’s a fancy way to slap a $6 price tag on a god damn bag of tasteless, salty and unfulfilling crap that actually has more saturated fat, sodium and cholesterol than Lays….and what could be more organic than a friggin potato? It grows in the dirt. What’s a non-organic potato? Are there potato labs hidden in the hills of Idaho, creating genetically superior spuds? I doubt it. See….it doesn’t take much for the frustration to emerge. The whole organic movement is Madison Avenue nonsense. Maybe I’m just pissed that I didn’t think of it.
Moving on – My wife wishes to enforce a vegan kitchen. This means no meat or dairy in house. Well shit. I can understand not having meat around - it truly repulses her. I like milk. I like cheese. I especially like eggs. Soy milk is absolutely terrible. It has no flavor and actually makes my Starbucks bold Sumatra coffee taste worse. It does stay good for a really long time though. It has to. Who the hell would drink more than 2 tablespoons of this concoction at a time? Rice milk looks like the water you use to rinse out the paint brush after a few coats of primer. I imagine the taste is similar as well – although I haven’t actually verified this. There is no vegan substitute for cheese or eggs. Vegan cheese is not something you want to experiment with. Have you seen the color of this stuff? You can’t tell me that color occurs in nature. It’s the same color hunters wear so they don’t shoot each other.
I don’t like to think that I’ve given up here. I could keep going. It’s just not for me. If I were independently wealthy with 2 hours to prepare each meal, I would be happy. Not many people have that luxury. The stress involved in attempting to prepare a tasty and filling substitute meal is far more taxing on my body than the baked chicken and rice I would like to eat.
That said - I am back to my carnivorous ways. I won’t flaunt it in front of my wife, as I deeply respect her passionate decision to reject any animal derived products.
I gave up eating meat. Not all meat, just what I call “land meat”. You could serve me a swordfish steak with a side of crab cakes and a cup of chowder and I’d tear through that like Oprah at a Vegas buffet. Land meat is poultry, beef and pork. Not a huge sacrifice really, as I live in New England and Lobster is the same price as steak tips at the local Shaw’s.
I have been having difficulty lately however. I am constantly hungry, and I find myself filling the void with junk food. In this dietary transition, we have been swept up in the organic marketing craze as well, so I don’t snack on good old fashioned American Lays Potato Chips, but Toms Vermont, Organic, All-Natural, BPA-Free, Whole Grain, Sea Salted Potato Slices. Bullshit. That’s a fancy way to slap a $6 price tag on a god damn bag of tasteless, salty and unfulfilling crap that actually has more saturated fat, sodium and cholesterol than Lays….and what could be more organic than a friggin potato? It grows in the dirt. What’s a non-organic potato? Are there potato labs hidden in the hills of Idaho, creating genetically superior spuds? I doubt it. See….it doesn’t take much for the frustration to emerge. The whole organic movement is Madison Avenue nonsense. Maybe I’m just pissed that I didn’t think of it.
Moving on – My wife wishes to enforce a vegan kitchen. This means no meat or dairy in house. Well shit. I can understand not having meat around - it truly repulses her. I like milk. I like cheese. I especially like eggs. Soy milk is absolutely terrible. It has no flavor and actually makes my Starbucks bold Sumatra coffee taste worse. It does stay good for a really long time though. It has to. Who the hell would drink more than 2 tablespoons of this concoction at a time? Rice milk looks like the water you use to rinse out the paint brush after a few coats of primer. I imagine the taste is similar as well – although I haven’t actually verified this. There is no vegan substitute for cheese or eggs. Vegan cheese is not something you want to experiment with. Have you seen the color of this stuff? You can’t tell me that color occurs in nature. It’s the same color hunters wear so they don’t shoot each other.
I don’t like to think that I’ve given up here. I could keep going. It’s just not for me. If I were independently wealthy with 2 hours to prepare each meal, I would be happy. Not many people have that luxury. The stress involved in attempting to prepare a tasty and filling substitute meal is far more taxing on my body than the baked chicken and rice I would like to eat.
That said - I am back to my carnivorous ways. I won’t flaunt it in front of my wife, as I deeply respect her passionate decision to reject any animal derived products.
Friday, August 1, 2008
License Revoked
The state of New Jersey is revoking my mother's drivers license on the grounds of negligent behavior. She has been living and driving in the Garden State since the Ford administration and the state has finally caught up with her.
This is not a problem in New Jersey, and apparently you can survuve for years without this valuable knowledge. However, you don't need a PHD in Mechanical Engineering to work one of these complex machines either. In New Hampshire for example, it is not uncommon to see people filling milk jugs, beer bottles and Dunkin Donuts cups at their local fueling station.
New Jersey and Oregon are only states in the country where pumping your own gas is illegal. I am unsure of the logic behind this law as unrestricted access to these modified flame-throwers is granted to those far more dangerous than my mother - they just live in other states.
Infraction Number 989.09.236H - The Inability to Find the Meadowlands.
Wow! She did not know what exit to take to get to Giants Stadium. Not being able to produce this information is a big no-no in the eyes of State government. It one of several core questions on the State drivers test:
What Exit is Giants Stadium?
A) 5,280
B) 16W
C) 3.1416161616161616
D) Who the hell cares (Go Eagles!)
The Meadowlands is New Jersey's main attraction. It's Mount Rushmore. It's the Grand Canyon. It's Yellowstone National Park. You can't establish residency in New Jersey without knowing this.
As of September 1st she will have to surrender her driving privelages for one year, and the fees for reinstatement are steep:
$200 for a new license
$100 for a new registration
$60 for an eye test
$125 fee to the Gas Station Attendants union
$175 to the Giants for stadium construction
$500 fee for the Jim McGreevy legal council
In all, it could have been worse and at least she's safe.
The infrations.
This is not a problem in New Jersey, and apparently you can survuve for years without this valuable knowledge. However, you don't need a PHD in Mechanical Engineering to work one of these complex machines either. In New Hampshire for example, it is not uncommon to see people filling milk jugs, beer bottles and Dunkin Donuts cups at their local fueling station.
New Jersey and Oregon are only states in the country where pumping your own gas is illegal. I am unsure of the logic behind this law as unrestricted access to these modified flame-throwers is granted to those far more dangerous than my mother - they just live in other states.
Infraction Number 989.09.236H - The Inability to Find the Meadowlands.
Wow! She did not know what exit to take to get to Giants Stadium. Not being able to produce this information is a big no-no in the eyes of State government. It one of several core questions on the State drivers test:
What Exit is Giants Stadium?
A) 5,280
B) 16W
C) 3.1416161616161616
D) Who the hell cares (Go Eagles!)
The Meadowlands is New Jersey's main attraction. It's Mount Rushmore. It's the Grand Canyon. It's Yellowstone National Park. You can't establish residency in New Jersey without knowing this.
As of September 1st she will have to surrender her driving privelages for one year, and the fees for reinstatement are steep:
$200 for a new license
$100 for a new registration
$60 for an eye test
$125 fee to the Gas Station Attendants union
$175 to the Giants for stadium construction
$500 fee for the Jim McGreevy legal council
In all, it could have been worse and at least she's safe.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Yankee Stadium
As a transplanted New Yorker (anywhere in NJ north of 7A is New York) the only means of keeping up with my teams is through the Times online, NJ.com, and the Red Sox infatuated coverage of what the Yankees are doing. I watched the All Star game last week and began getting nostalgic about the final season at Yankee Stadium.
My father and I used to a few games a summer growing up. I was there when Dave Winfield hit his 300th home run. Saw an unknown singer forget the Canadian National Anthem, and was in attendence for the first (and last) Irish American night. I remember the bullpen car that used to drive relief pitchers to the third base coaches box. These were my fond childhood memories of "The House that Ruth Built."
My father and I decided we had to go one last time in the "old" ballpark, which we did this past weekend. I have to say, I am not all that nostalgic anymore. The current incarnation looks no better than those 1970's cookie cutter parks like Veterans Stadium, Three Rivers, and Riverfront. All of these stadiums have met the same fate. The wrecking ball. Yankee Stadium is a bland, vast, uninteresting, dirty and sterile ballpark.
The only connection to the likes of Ruth, DiMaggio, Gherig, Berra and Rizzuto is that the current park is in the same place. Yankee Stadium was torn down in 1973 when new "boss" George Steinbrenner gutted it. I am excited to see the new ballpark. The Yankees certainly deserve better.
Friday, July 18, 2008
What's for dinner?
My wife has read the book "Skinny Bitch" and I have read most of it too. It had a profound effect on both of us in terms of what we are putting in our bodies and caused us to rethink our obsession with food, and where our food comes from.
The book is a profanity filled tirade that would make Ozzie Guillen blush - which is why I couldn't put it down. It was refreshing to read real conversational writing about a topic that I would not have otherwise given a second look. My wife has since commited to being a vegan and I have given up Beef, Pork, and Poultry.
This brings me to our recent experience at dinner at a vegan reasturant in Boston's North End. I arranged for a sitter for our son and my wife and I headed into Boston, excited to try this place where we could both order anything we wanted and not have to make all kinds of assenine substitutions. "I want the Lasagna, but instead of meat, can the chef make it with beans. Instead of cheese, can the chef use dehydrated coconut milk and organic sea salt?" Paula Dean and Giotta on the food channel would personally kick our asses they ever heard of such nonsense.
This reasturant serves "Raw, organic, vegan" dishes, none of which are heated above 100 degrees at any point in the cooking process. Sounds interesting, and we are always up for something new.
I don't recommend trying this if you're hungry, or in our case, hungry and slightly buzzed after a round of drinks pre-dinner and a bottle of wine while agonizingly disecting the menu. We went with a tappas approach, ordering 3 apps and an entree to split.
The first appetizer was the highlight of the evening, food wise. It was 3 slider type veggie burgers placed between fresh organic tomatoes. Served cold of course. The only thing not cold in this place was the water. That was served lukewarm with a slice of cucumber. I recommend bringing your own ice cubes. I usually keep some in my car - just in case, but I forgot to bring them in.
The next item was a nut cheese paste served between dehydrated potato slices. This was terrible. It was like trying to chew up and digest a Michelin all season radial - with studs. We both were determined to have the full experience, so we ate them quietly (how can you talk with a mouth full of tread) hoping that we had just picked a dud appetizer.
This was followed by Potato Gnocchi (sp?), which was tasty. Again, served cold and drizzled with a "cream" sauce made of god knows what. It was tasty though - all four pieces.
That concluded the appetizer portion of the meal. So far we each have had 1-1/2 sliders, 1 slice of all season radial, 2 pieces of pasta, a Grey Goose Martini and a half bottle of wine. On to the main event...the entree!
The entree we ordered was fresh tomato ravioli. This was served with another unknown sauce, and again, we recieved 4 pieces of food. Two each. We cut up little pieces and tried to make it last, enjoying our conversation and our night out. When finished, we debated dessert, but decided that dime-size piece of nut-cheesecake was not worth $13, so we paid our bill and left.
Upon reaching the street, my wife, a devoted vegan turned to me and asked "So where do you want to go for dinner?" We both began laughing hysterically and analyzing each morsel we recieved.
Not the best meal we have ever had, but the story was worth it.
The book is a profanity filled tirade that would make Ozzie Guillen blush - which is why I couldn't put it down. It was refreshing to read real conversational writing about a topic that I would not have otherwise given a second look. My wife has since commited to being a vegan and I have given up Beef, Pork, and Poultry.
This brings me to our recent experience at dinner at a vegan reasturant in Boston's North End. I arranged for a sitter for our son and my wife and I headed into Boston, excited to try this place where we could both order anything we wanted and not have to make all kinds of assenine substitutions. "I want the Lasagna, but instead of meat, can the chef make it with beans. Instead of cheese, can the chef use dehydrated coconut milk and organic sea salt?" Paula Dean and Giotta on the food channel would personally kick our asses they ever heard of such nonsense.
This reasturant serves "Raw, organic, vegan" dishes, none of which are heated above 100 degrees at any point in the cooking process. Sounds interesting, and we are always up for something new.
I don't recommend trying this if you're hungry, or in our case, hungry and slightly buzzed after a round of drinks pre-dinner and a bottle of wine while agonizingly disecting the menu. We went with a tappas approach, ordering 3 apps and an entree to split.
The first appetizer was the highlight of the evening, food wise. It was 3 slider type veggie burgers placed between fresh organic tomatoes. Served cold of course. The only thing not cold in this place was the water. That was served lukewarm with a slice of cucumber. I recommend bringing your own ice cubes. I usually keep some in my car - just in case, but I forgot to bring them in.
The next item was a nut cheese paste served between dehydrated potato slices. This was terrible. It was like trying to chew up and digest a Michelin all season radial - with studs. We both were determined to have the full experience, so we ate them quietly (how can you talk with a mouth full of tread) hoping that we had just picked a dud appetizer.
This was followed by Potato Gnocchi (sp?), which was tasty. Again, served cold and drizzled with a "cream" sauce made of god knows what. It was tasty though - all four pieces.
That concluded the appetizer portion of the meal. So far we each have had 1-1/2 sliders, 1 slice of all season radial, 2 pieces of pasta, a Grey Goose Martini and a half bottle of wine. On to the main event...the entree!
The entree we ordered was fresh tomato ravioli. This was served with another unknown sauce, and again, we recieved 4 pieces of food. Two each. We cut up little pieces and tried to make it last, enjoying our conversation and our night out. When finished, we debated dessert, but decided that dime-size piece of nut-cheesecake was not worth $13, so we paid our bill and left.
Upon reaching the street, my wife, a devoted vegan turned to me and asked "So where do you want to go for dinner?" We both began laughing hysterically and analyzing each morsel we recieved.
Not the best meal we have ever had, but the story was worth it.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Perfect Storm
This weekend is the 4th of July and everything is aligning in the perfect storm of a sports weekend that I am salivating over. Not only does the 4th of July fall on a Friday, but the Red Sox are in New York for 4 games.
I am oh so looking forward to this and the drama is already swirling. Hank is spouting off about how the Yankees can't hit (he's right), A-Rod is splitting from his wife and had been allegedly connected to Madonna, Manny is beating up on the Red Sox equivilent of George Costanza, and both teams are playing terrible baseball right now.
Neither team is what they thought they'd be at this point in the season. No Schilling, Papi, Matsui, or Hughes. Both teams bullpens are a disaster and neither team can get a timely hit.
Call me biased, but I feel the Yankees are in a better position than the Sox right now. A-Rod, despite his personal woes, it hitting the cover off the ball. Giambi has been a stud and Damon has been a sparkplug all season. The Sox have been inconsistent at best. Their road record is among the worst in baseball. They rely on JD Drew to fill in for Papi, which he has, but that will not continue. If the Yankees can avoid getting blown out early (Pittsburgh, Mets) they should muster enough to get 3 out of this series. Maybe even a sweep.
Either way, this should be fun.
I am oh so looking forward to this and the drama is already swirling. Hank is spouting off about how the Yankees can't hit (he's right), A-Rod is splitting from his wife and had been allegedly connected to Madonna, Manny is beating up on the Red Sox equivilent of George Costanza, and both teams are playing terrible baseball right now.
Neither team is what they thought they'd be at this point in the season. No Schilling, Papi, Matsui, or Hughes. Both teams bullpens are a disaster and neither team can get a timely hit.
Call me biased, but I feel the Yankees are in a better position than the Sox right now. A-Rod, despite his personal woes, it hitting the cover off the ball. Giambi has been a stud and Damon has been a sparkplug all season. The Sox have been inconsistent at best. Their road record is among the worst in baseball. They rely on JD Drew to fill in for Papi, which he has, but that will not continue. If the Yankees can avoid getting blown out early (Pittsburgh, Mets) they should muster enough to get 3 out of this series. Maybe even a sweep.
Either way, this should be fun.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The FAA
As a frequent business traveler, I encounter many injustices brought upon our kind in a given week. The greatest of these I experienced first hand this Friday on my commute home from Washington DC.
My typical 4:45pm flight pushed away from the gate on time and we began our taxi out to the runway for our departure. As we did so, I noticed about 15 planes parked on the run-up facing each other. As an experienced traveler, I said to myself "this can't be good". Just then the pilot turned off the taxiway and cut the engines. All flights to the north and east were on ground stop due to weather along the route. I thought to myself "ok. I'll hit up the drink cart for a few cold beverages and take a nap." I find that if you have access to cold beer, any situation can be tolerated.
We sat for over 3 hours and then returned to the gate to refuel. I saw many other planes doing the same as they began to run out of gas. I was listening to the tower communications and in addition to the dozen or so planes that were running out of fuel, 2 planes had to return to the gate for unruly passengers and 2 more had to return due to passengers passing out. It was 96 degrees out, and very hot on the plane.
I was unable to sleep and had finished my book. I got to thinking about the passneger bill of rights and the federal government bailing out many bankrupt airlines. This was not at any fault of the airline (United) and the pilot and crew was very professional and as frustrated as we all were at the situation. What genius decided that having 30-40 parked planes is anything other than a complete waste of time and money?
It turned out that the weather had cleared and our pilot, being dilligent in his harrasment of the crew in the tower, somehow got us out at 9:00. As we accellerated and took off, everyone cheered and clapped as if we had just won the Super Bowl. During the flight, I could tell he had the throttle wide open. We made it to Boston in just over 40 minutes.
I'm sure United lost a lot of money on this flight. Fuel, having to give credits to the poor folks in Boston waiting for our plane, overtime for the crew etc.... In an economy that is collapsing further by the day, it appears the FAA it not willing to be flexible in it's policy about ground delays and rerouting aircraft and I'm sure the airlines pay dearly for these types of delays.
My typical 4:45pm flight pushed away from the gate on time and we began our taxi out to the runway for our departure. As we did so, I noticed about 15 planes parked on the run-up facing each other. As an experienced traveler, I said to myself "this can't be good". Just then the pilot turned off the taxiway and cut the engines. All flights to the north and east were on ground stop due to weather along the route. I thought to myself "ok. I'll hit up the drink cart for a few cold beverages and take a nap." I find that if you have access to cold beer, any situation can be tolerated.
We sat for over 3 hours and then returned to the gate to refuel. I saw many other planes doing the same as they began to run out of gas. I was listening to the tower communications and in addition to the dozen or so planes that were running out of fuel, 2 planes had to return to the gate for unruly passengers and 2 more had to return due to passengers passing out. It was 96 degrees out, and very hot on the plane.
I was unable to sleep and had finished my book. I got to thinking about the passneger bill of rights and the federal government bailing out many bankrupt airlines. This was not at any fault of the airline (United) and the pilot and crew was very professional and as frustrated as we all were at the situation. What genius decided that having 30-40 parked planes is anything other than a complete waste of time and money?
It turned out that the weather had cleared and our pilot, being dilligent in his harrasment of the crew in the tower, somehow got us out at 9:00. As we accellerated and took off, everyone cheered and clapped as if we had just won the Super Bowl. During the flight, I could tell he had the throttle wide open. We made it to Boston in just over 40 minutes.
I'm sure United lost a lot of money on this flight. Fuel, having to give credits to the poor folks in Boston waiting for our plane, overtime for the crew etc.... In an economy that is collapsing further by the day, it appears the FAA it not willing to be flexible in it's policy about ground delays and rerouting aircraft and I'm sure the airlines pay dearly for these types of delays.
Friday, June 20, 2008
High Gas Prices = Good news for me.
I like to think of myself as the atypical American. I don't watch TV (unless it's the Yanks, Jets, UCONN or the Devils are in the playoffs), I don't have a lot of unessential "stuff", I hate Budweiser, chain restaurants and fast food, and I don't get caught up in hype surrounding current events (rotten tomatoes).
However, where I do struggle is with public transportation. I hate it. I should clarify this. I love to drive. I love my car, I love going places on my schedule, at my pace (which is usually much faster than everyone else) and in the company of friends and family. I will not give up driving my car, even if gas gets to be $10 a gallon. I can't. It's a cost benefit thing for me. My car is my sanctuary. It's where I collect my thoughts, sing along to Guns and Roses, and decompress.
I travel to Northern Virginia every week for work. I used to live in the area back in the late 1990's during the days of the dot com boom, $1.19 gas and cars the size of school buses. In those days you couldn't go anywhere in suburban DC between the hours of 6:00 am and 9:00 pm. You would sit in gridlock on the beltway, 66, 95, 7 or the Fairfax County Parkway. Everyone drove everywhere, and I hated it.
Now it's 2008, gas prices in NOVA (the cute little acronym the locals use) are near $4.75 a gallon, and a lot has changed. I went into DC last night to visit friends, and I drove (of course). I left around 5:00 for my expected 90 minute journey of approximately 25 miles. I did my due dilligence and swung through a Metro station on the way, becuase I did want a few cocktails while in the city. To my surprise, there was nowhere to park. Huge SUV's that were once common on roadways throughout DC were parallel parked between trees and on traffic islands. Has the life of the SUV has come full circle? Parking on an embankment at a Metro station certainly is off road.
So I continued on to DC, conceding that I would have to limit my cocktail intake for the sake of not having to find a place to dock my rental Dodge Grand Caravan (rental car agencies basically give away anything that gets less than 20mpg's). To my surprise, there was no traffic at all on my way into DC. I made it in 20 minutes.
So selfishly I'm thinking "hey-this is great! Bring on $10 a gallon. I'll be the only one out here."
FYI- I'm not too much of a carbon-consuming jerk. My everyday car gets 30mpg's. My wife's - about 28.
However, where I do struggle is with public transportation. I hate it. I should clarify this. I love to drive. I love my car, I love going places on my schedule, at my pace (which is usually much faster than everyone else) and in the company of friends and family. I will not give up driving my car, even if gas gets to be $10 a gallon. I can't. It's a cost benefit thing for me. My car is my sanctuary. It's where I collect my thoughts, sing along to Guns and Roses, and decompress.
I travel to Northern Virginia every week for work. I used to live in the area back in the late 1990's during the days of the dot com boom, $1.19 gas and cars the size of school buses. In those days you couldn't go anywhere in suburban DC between the hours of 6:00 am and 9:00 pm. You would sit in gridlock on the beltway, 66, 95, 7 or the Fairfax County Parkway. Everyone drove everywhere, and I hated it.
Now it's 2008, gas prices in NOVA (the cute little acronym the locals use) are near $4.75 a gallon, and a lot has changed. I went into DC last night to visit friends, and I drove (of course). I left around 5:00 for my expected 90 minute journey of approximately 25 miles. I did my due dilligence and swung through a Metro station on the way, becuase I did want a few cocktails while in the city. To my surprise, there was nowhere to park. Huge SUV's that were once common on roadways throughout DC were parallel parked between trees and on traffic islands. Has the life of the SUV has come full circle? Parking on an embankment at a Metro station certainly is off road.
So I continued on to DC, conceding that I would have to limit my cocktail intake for the sake of not having to find a place to dock my rental Dodge Grand Caravan (rental car agencies basically give away anything that gets less than 20mpg's). To my surprise, there was no traffic at all on my way into DC. I made it in 20 minutes.
So selfishly I'm thinking "hey-this is great! Bring on $10 a gallon. I'll be the only one out here."
FYI- I'm not too much of a carbon-consuming jerk. My everyday car gets 30mpg's. My wife's - about 28.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Go Celtics
Big news here in Massachusetts! The Celtics won the NBA title late last night. Of the Boston sports teams, the Celtics are the one I can tolerate the most. In fact, I found myself rooting for them. Paul Pierce has been here for years, has survived being stabbed, and having to play with the likes of NBA has-been's like Gary Payton, Walter McCarty and Antwan "Chuck it from Anywhere" Walker. Additionally, as a UCONN alum, I root for guys like Rip Hamilton, Ben Gordon and Ray Allen.
The team Danny Ainge assembeled this season represents the old NBA that I used to like watching. They are all team players who play defense and can shoot free-throws. When one has a bad night, the rest of the team picks it up. It's been about winning for the C's this year, and I'm glad they won. I currently don't root for any NBA team (the Nets are a disaster, and the Knicks are even worse). The Celtics have won me over this year. I may even let my son watch NESN next fall.
The team Danny Ainge assembeled this season represents the old NBA that I used to like watching. They are all team players who play defense and can shoot free-throws. When one has a bad night, the rest of the team picks it up. It's been about winning for the C's this year, and I'm glad they won. I currently don't root for any NBA team (the Nets are a disaster, and the Knicks are even worse). The Celtics have won me over this year. I may even let my son watch NESN next fall.
This is my first blog.
Although I'm 32, married, have a 9 month old son, and don't get out much anymore, I've always felt that I'm current with the times. I have a Myspace profile (although I know that Myspace is vintage 2006) I have a Facebook profile (more like 2007) and am "LinkedIn". I have an iPod, noise cancelling headphones and a Blackberry Curve (the new one). However, this is my first crack at blogging - and my 63 year old father beat me to it. I got beat by the person who bought an LCD Hi-def tv 2 years ago and to this day has not subscribed to recieve the Hi-Def signal. Maybe I'm losing a step.
I plan to use this as a freeform of my ramblings about life as a New Englander, being a "young" father, a road weary business traveler and a blatant and unafraid New York sports fan trapped in "Red Sox Nation" - whatever the hell that is?
I plan to use this as a freeform of my ramblings about life as a New Englander, being a "young" father, a road weary business traveler and a blatant and unafraid New York sports fan trapped in "Red Sox Nation" - whatever the hell that is?
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