License Revoked

The state of New Jersey is revoking my mother's drivers license on the grounds of negligent behavior. She has been living and driving in the Garden State since the Ford administration and the state has finally caught up with her.

The infrations.

Infration Number 546.23.238A - The Inability to Operate a Gas Pump.

This is not a problem in New Jersey, and apparently you can survuve for years without this valuable knowledge. However, you don't need a PHD in Mechanical Engineering to work one of these complex machines either. In New Hampshire for example, it is not uncommon to see people filling milk jugs, beer bottles and Dunkin Donuts cups at their local fueling station.

New Jersey and Oregon are only states in the country where pumping your own gas is illegal. I am unsure of the logic behind this law as unrestricted access to these modified flame-throwers is granted to those far more dangerous than my mother - they just live in other states.

Infraction Number 989.09.236H - The Inability to Find the Meadowlands.

Wow! She did not know what exit to take to get to Giants Stadium. Not being able to produce this information is a big no-no in the eyes of State government. It one of several core questions on the State drivers test:

What Exit is Giants Stadium?
A) 5,280
B) 16W
C) 3.1416161616161616
D) Who the hell cares (Go Eagles!)

The Meadowlands is New Jersey's main attraction. It's Mount Rushmore. It's the Grand Canyon. It's Yellowstone National Park. You can't establish residency in New Jersey without knowing this.

As of September 1st she will have to surrender her driving privelages for one year, and the fees for reinstatement are steep:

$200 for a new license
$100 for a new registration
$60 for an eye test
$125 fee to the Gas Station Attendants union
$175 to the Giants for stadium construction
$500 fee for the Jim McGreevy legal council

In all, it could have been worse and at least she's safe.